Starting over…again!

Tomorrow I’m starting over…again! For what may seem like the thousandth time, I will again attempt to follow a food plan 100%. Today I didn’t really watch what I ate, and while I type this I’m enjoying some Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, ironically. Blowing it before I get back on the horse and try again.

Lately, I’ve been eating healthy most of the time – low carb, high veggie and lean protein – small, frequent meals – watching my step counts and caloric burn and losing NOTHING. NOT A THING. Talk about frustrating. Did I cheat? Sure, but when once has as much weight to lose as I do right now, I just felt as though some weight should be coming off with my efforts. Nada…

I’ve been here before. I’ve been at this place where nothing in a regular store fits. I’ve been frustrated with the boxiness of the clothes that do “fit”. I refuse to pay gobs of money for a “fat” wardrobe. I’m tired of looking the way I do, especially when I know I CAN look and feel different. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines, wishing I was signing up for races and getting out and running. I’ve seen the saying posted a lot – Working out/watching what you eat is hard, being overweight is hard….choose your hard.

So…tomorrow I’m choosing. I’m choosing to give my health 100% of my effort. Even as I type this I wonder just how long the motivation will last – will I make it all week? What will happen this weekend? And what if I give 100% and I still don’t lose weight? I cannot let my questions cause me to not start?

So… Today – I meal planned (I definitely was not eating nearly enough according to what 21DF said I need to eat). I went shopping. I prepped egg/veggie casserole, several lunches – chock full of veggies and protein. I have a plan to get up a little earlier to do a quick workout in the am in case the workouts don’t happen in the afternoon/evenings (something is better than nothing). I am consistently pressing the doubts and fears of failure away because as someone near and dear to my heart keeps reminding me – I am strong and dedicated and when I set my mind to something – I follow through.

I’ve been here before – Roughly 10 years ago I set out to lose weight – many bumps and bruises in the several year long process later, I saw an almost 100 pound loss. My life is different – I don’t have the time I used to have – I have more temptations now – I don’t have the gym buddies anymore, but I am still the same person whose will and determination lost 100 pounds…so…here goes nothing…again!


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